Monday, October 17, 2011

Reflecting on yesterday

Thing's that I actually did well yesterday:

  • French! I switched on the TV and watched/listened to it for 5 hours, and I understood pretty much everything! :) I am going to do this everyday now, just switch it on and at least have it play in the background. I hear this helps. 
  • Food. Fairly. No bad foods, but maybe still too much healthy food, and at the wrong time. Today I'll be better with that. 
  • Commitment phobia. I started googling information about it, only to realize that I don't need the web to explain it to me. I know exactly where I got it from. It's not something I've had forever. Sure, maybe there were traces of it but they were just me being very young, and unable to be myself in a relationship because I was too shy and scared. But the real problem was caused by an ex when I was 18. He made me feel trapped. He told me he loved me a few days into the relationship, and was so clingy I had no space to breathe. And when I finally ended things the break up lasted longer than the relationship did because he just wouldn't let go. And now he hates me. That made me afraid to get into another relationship in case the same would happen. But I can't judge every guy based on one, especially one like him. He was definitely not normal about it. And I don't want to have him affect me for the rest of my life. 
And as for studies... I tried, so hard, but I am seriously starting to worry about myself. I have a huge concentration problem. It's like this sudden need to distract myself, and I honestly can't explain it. Because I actually find the material interesting, but a few minutes into reading it's like my brain is exploding and I have a desperate urge to stop. I don't know how serious this is, but it's certainly very damaging. I thought maybe it's my way of being lazy, but I honestly don't think so. So I need to figure out how to deal with this. And fast. 

I couldn't get to sleep until 4am I think, and I had a class at 8am, but I overslept... Typical. But I am only allowed to miss a class  twice a semester or it's an automatic fail and I've used the two up now so I seriously need a better alarm clock for all the weeks to come! I have a class in 1h40min with a written interrogation, so time to get some last minute studying in! And down more coffee. 


  1. Procrastination is quite normal. Commitment phobia is a passing problem. Get several alarm clocks like I do. And well done on the French! Go enjoy.

  2. I agree well done w/ the French on TV..or on a radio..background sound is good for many things:)

    Being distracted is normal also.
    :) So much about what we concern ourselves with is normal.
    I wish I had known that at you age.. even recently:)

    Bonne Chance avec tout~

  3. J'ai remarqué qu'effectivement la télé aide beaucoup lorsqu'on apprend une langue. Je pense même que c'est comme ça que j'ai appris le français quand j'étais petite. Je suis sûre que tu es sur la bonne voie ! :)
    Quelque chose qui m'a beaucoup aidée à apprendre le tchèque quand je vivais à Prague, c'est de lire tout ce que je voyais autour de moi. Dans le bus, le tram, le métro, etc. Au bout d'un moment, on le mémorise et on commence même à utiliser les expressions.

  4. Yayy! So glad to read that you're already making great progress! :)

    I recently got out of a relationship that sounds very similar to your past one so I completely understand why you would experience commitment phobia. At least you've targeted the cause and can hopefully move past those feelings!

  5. i think you have big chances of learning the language if u watch TV. bon courage:)

  6. Honest, stark outpourings. Very readable. Let people love you or hate you. 'Control' is an illusion. No-one's got it.

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