My beautiful life

This brings out the best in me, but you would never understand that, mum. You don’t understand anything that exists outside your box of morals and rules. You love order, and things being followed by a well thought out plan. You like things happening your way, and you like being able to control everything. Maybe that’s why we’ve found it hard to get along ever since I was thirteen. You see, I believe in beauty above everything. It doesn’t have to be neat, or careful, or even correct. I want real, tragic, fragile, wild beauty. I want everything, I want to live a life and know that I’ve really done it all. That I felt life through every fiber of my being, that I’ve been to hell and back, and that I would go again. That’s what I want. I want to live a beautiful life.